Jenna Lee about Mr. and Mrs. Lee

Interview

the basics

I'm a full time college student majoring in criminal justice. My parents are not together and haven't been since I was about 2 years old. I lived with my grandparents most of my teen years, and moved out when I met my boyfriend. I'm also a 7 year smoker that just recently quit.

My mom and dad both smoked around me when I was little. My mom was even told by her doctor to not quit when she was pregnant with me because it would have sent me into shock. I can remember being in the house in the middle of summer, all the doors and windows shut and the air conditioner on. The smoke was so thick you could move it with your hand. Another person that affected me was my aunt. About a year after I started smoking she was diagnosed with emphysema and told that if she didn't quit she would die. That started me thinking about what could happen to me.

My mom is 49 and has smoked since she was 15, my dad is 51 and has smoked since he was 12, and my aunt is 45 and started smoking when she was 17.

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the effects of smoking

• Teeth: All of them have yellow teeth and my mom has a stain that is almost brown because of how dark yellow it is, on the front top two that is from her always placing the cigarette in the same spot.
• Breath: My mom's breath stinks and so does my dad's. My aunt, I can't remember, but I know she takes a lot better care of her mouth and what her breath smells like now.
• Fingers: My dad's hands are a yellowish color all over, my mom has a yellowish tint to her fingers but it's not as bad as my dad's, and my aunt still has a little bit of a discoloring of her fingers.
• Lungs/Chest/Breathing/Coughing:My mom is constantly coughing, sometimes to the point where she has to spit up stuff from her lungs so she can breathe. She turns red in the face and when she starts coughing really hard, her lips will start to turn blue. My dad coughs but not that bad. When he wakes up in the morning he will have a coughing fit and then during the day he makes these sounds like he is trying to clear his throat. My aunt has to use 6 different inhalers to help control the coughing and lack of air getting into her body. She used to have at least one really bad attack every day but now she is only having attacks every few days.
• Stamina: My dad is constantly stopping work to sit and take a break. He comes home and passes out for a few hours and then eats then goes back to sleep. He is a construction workers, so I know it is hard on his body due to his age, but he can't do as much as he has been able to in the past because he runs out of energy and oxygen. My mom sleeps a lot more. She is a nurse and by the time she gets done with her med pass she has to sit and just do paperwork because she is so tired just from walking around. My aunt is gaining more energy but she is still lacking. She comes home and has to sit on the couch because she will make herself sick if she tries to push her body too much.
• Other: I hate having to watch my mom turning blue and then lighting up another cigarette. My dad smokes so much that he will forget that he lit a cigarette and will leave it burning somewhere and he has almost started many fires because of this. My aunt, she has come very very far and I hope that she never starts smoking again but she is really negative towards other smokers. It's almost like she forgot how hard it was for her to quit.
• Cancer: So far no one that is still living has cancer. My aunt came close. I wouldn't be surprised though that if my mom and dad went in and had a scan of their lungs, I would say that it is a safe bet that they aren't even using 50% of their lung capacity anymore.

• Relationships (to you/family/others): Now that I have quit, I have been spending more time with my aunt than with my mom or dad because I hate being around the smoke. I do know that my mom has problems at work with her co-workers complaining about the smell and my dad isn't really bothered except when he goes to a bar and wants to light up. He gets insulted because California law makes it illegal.
• Daily Activities/Sports/Hobbies: My mom has trouble walking long distances but doesn't try anything else. My dad has trouble with almost everything that he does but he won't admit it. My aunt has trouble with any type of physical exercise. She has gotten better since she quit, but it's still hard to watch and frustrating when you're with her.

the impact

For my mom, I am fearful that she will not get help when she needs it and will die because she can't breath. For my dad, I am fearful of him burning the house down and that he is in denial about his health due to smoking. I feel that it will ultimately be his cause of death. For my aunt, because she is not a smoker anymore, the only thing that I fear is that she will start smoking again and make her breathing problems worse.

I know better than to talk with my mom about quitting so I don't mention anything. With my dad, when he voices quitting, I will offer ideas and support but that's all because I feel that it is something that he has to do for himself and if he doesn't, he won't quit and I don't want to put my energy into something that fails all the time. I remember that when my aunt quit smoking, my cousins and I made a certificate and drawings that told her how proud we were for her. She later told us that it helped motivate her to not smoke again.

My dad hasn't really affected me because I'm not around him a lot. My mom has because of the stains on her teeth and how bad she smells; she made me realize how bad I could smell and what my teeth would eventually look like if I continued. With my aunt, watching her go through the process of dealing with the emphysema over the years, when I started to have problems breathing, it made me take a look at myself and see that I could be in her position in the future.

I just watch my mom and wish that she would quit. I know better than to bring up quitting with her because she will just get defensive towards me. Because of this I don't really spend a lot of time at her house anymore and throw a fit if she tries to smoke in my car. My dad and me are about the same but because I don't spend more than one day a month at his house or with him anywhere else, it hasn't really affected my relationship with him. Since quitting I have started to spend more time with my aunt and I learn ways to help me along with the quit.